Livigrows: Five...

Five years ago tonight:

- we were touring the NICU
- we were scared about lung maturity
- I was having contractions that could only be stopped by medication
- we saw a 5 pound baby and couldn't believe how tiny it was
- I was scarfing down as much food as possible before my 12 a.m. cut-off (ha!)
- we were watching our baby's heartbeat on the monitor
- we were told our baby only weighed 3.5 pounds after an ultrasound
- we were packing up my room on the ante-partum side after a 2 week stay
- we were TERRIFIED

If I could go back to that night, I would tell us:

- your lives will never be richer
- your hearts will never be fuller
- the love for this child is immeasurable
- the joy she brings is indescribable
- you'll be OK

I would tell us that in 5 years, your heart will be breaking as you prepare to send your baby to Kindergarten.

And despite your worries and fears, she is amazing.

She has her moments (naturally), but you would be hard pressed to find a more gentle soul.

And whatever you imagine life with a child is like, you're wrong. It's better.

Your worries are misplaced, for this child is meant just for you.

She got the best parts of each of you.

Any insecurities about parenting disappear when she tells you she loves you.

There will be times when you KNOW you messed up. That you said the wrong thing or lost your temper. She'll forgive you. Every time.

You will not believe what you will do to make her smile.

And you can't imagine the pain of seeing her cry.

I would tell us that this child is everything you wanted.

And even during the tantrums, whining, and tears, your love only gets stronger.

That you don't even remember life before she was here.

And watching her with her baby sister is enough to break your heart into a million pieces.

But most important of all, I would tell us that we are doing something right. This child knows she is loved. She knows that there are many, many people that would do anything for her.